I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
