he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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