i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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