...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
