I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
