did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
