Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I think I am morally bankrupt
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
