Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I am mentally ready for anal.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize