I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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