Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
