so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
