On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
