Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
