and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
