Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
