Duck Duck Cougar?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
