Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
