she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
