I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
