Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
