What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I smell like Dick and happiness
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
