I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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