Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
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