so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
