just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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