If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I don't deserve a penis
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
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