"it" just moved
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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