I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
