It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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