the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
