your parents love me but you hate me
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
