this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I am mentally ready for anal.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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