i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
