Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
