Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
