I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I don't deserve a penis
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
