dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
