Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
