Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
