Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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