Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
