you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize