i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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