I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
