all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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