Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
