Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize