So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
