Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
