sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
