i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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