I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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