I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
