This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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