it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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