You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
