i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
