"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
