I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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