Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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