i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
