Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
