no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
