Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
