blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
