Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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