If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize