4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
