I heard we made out
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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