when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
