he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
