im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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