You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize