how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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